2018 has been a turning point.
I settled properly into my new job (not so new now), a job I didn’t think I would want to settle in. But my youthful idealism has turned into a more blasé realism. A means to an end in a company that I enjoy working for.
I dabbled in music, a language I never thought would be within my grasp.
I rediscovered film photography and rekindled an old love for this form of expression.
I walked and cycled without writing about it. The aim of those blog posts had been achieved so the desire to continue had gone.
I began planning for the future, thinking long term and looking at old beliefs with a suspicious eye. Not much held to the scrutiny.
2018 has been a year during which I’ve learned more than I have in the last few combined. I played and experimented, trying to find a new meaning to my artistic practices. And I’m glad that at the end of it, I have stopped wondering and found a direction.
My creative output in the past had often been immediate, almost like an exercise in creation. Write, photograph, record sounds. Do. Make. But an ingredient was missing and that was time. I rarely allowed myself the luxury of waiting, reflecting, and then creating.
There was an urge to present something. If I didn’t share my microadventures quickly, they would become irrelevant. If I didn’t post regular creations, I would become irrelevant. I needed to feed the Internet beast. But this left little time for more thought through work and experimentation.
This is now coming to an end.
My old blog is being closed, my other various online outlets shut or trimmed down. They have served their purpose to get me outdoors, to get me creating, to get me to meet people.
It is now time to stop. I have served an apprenticeship of sorts and I’m ready to create more meaningfully.
Going forward, I want to put more focus in what I do. I want the ‘I’ to disappear for the benefit of places and people. I want to start. Properly.